If the DBMM were Hogwarts

A few days ago at the office, we had an inspired discussion based off a list put on Facebook by two of our majors: What if the DBMM were Hogwarts? Which professor would be which? Emails flew back and forth, and it has been decided to add a Harry Potter category to our annual DBMM Jeopardy at Passport. I won't be there, of course, but I find this hilarious anyway, so I'm going to post the list, with a few of my own explanations and modifications:

• Glenn is, of course, Dumbledore - brilliant, gentle and wise, with the requisite silver beard. (And he's the Headmaster/chair.)
• Jeanene Reese is Minerva McGonagall - firm but fair, and you don't want to cross her if you belong to the dark side.
• Jerry Taylor is Hagrid - big, gentle, and always willing to lend a hand.
• Randy Harris is Harry Potter - the "world's only Church of Christ monk" is as close as the DBMM gets to having a "Chosen One."
• David Wray is "Mad-Eye" Moody - venerable, respected, and a bit awe-inspiring. (He's also 6'9", which Moody isn't, but we're taking creative license here.)
• Wendell Willis is Severus Snape - he can be dour, though he's good at heart, and he teaches Intro to Exegesis, which is the closest thing we have to Defense Against the Dark Arts.
• Rodney Ashlock is Arthur Weasley - kind, fatherly and helpful.
• Larry Henderson is Remus Lupin - he's no werewolf, but he is quiet, friendly and genuine.
• Jack Reese, after much debate, wins the position of the Weasley twins - he has enough energy to be Fred and George. Or else he's one and Robert Oglesby is the other. They both have mischievous streaks a mile wide.
• If Robert's not a Weasley twin, he's James Potter - just cocky enough to be likable, and quite a prankster.
• Stephen Johnson is Harry's beloved godfather, Sirius Black...mostly because he's tall, dark, handsome, and can be fiery when he needs to be.
• Tony Ash is Nearly Headless Nick (or perhaps Professor Binns) - he's been around longer than anyone!
• Camille Dickson is our own Ginny Weasley - very pretty, and she can make anything happen.
• Jan Hailey is Sybill Trelawney - sweet and scatterbrained.
• Marcia Moore is Professor Sprout - also sweet, and well-versed in an obscure subject (Greek and Herbology have a few things in common, I'm sure).
• Karissa Herchenroeder is Hermione Granger - she worked in the DBMM for three years before becoming our undergraduate recruiter and working in the dean's office. She knows more about the building than anyone else, I swear.
• Wimon Walker is Neville Longbottom - so sweet, and a little discombobulated.
• David Wallace would be Ron Weasley, because he's as loyal as they come.
• John Willis is, of course, Professor Flitwick - small and wise.
• JoAnn Young, admin assistant for missions, is Luna Lovegood.
• And Carlene Harrison, our inimitable scheduling guru who takes care of everyone, is Molly Weasley.

And me? I would hope to be a second Hermione, or even a McGonagall at times, since I was Glenn's assistant this year (though at times I'm sure everyone thought I was Rita Skeeter, scribbling down outrageous quotes). Fortunately we have no Malfoys, Bellatrixes or Voldemorts in our department. Just thought I'd share this bit of fun...hope you enjoy!