I have a lot to learn about loving.

I realized this yesterday in light of several events, but mostly in light of a vicious discussion which has played far too large a role in my life this past week. Yes, I'm talking about the ongoing debate regarding social clubs.

Jeremiah and I were part of two class discussions last Friday in which we expressed our opinions regarding social clubs (both of us, admittedly, have negative opinions, but we don't advocate the abolition of social clubs). Some people gave us "amens"; some kept silent; some were offended, as they had a perfect right to be. My own sister, who is a Ko Jo Kai officer, disagrees with me on this issue. Yet my attack on social clubs, if it was an attack, is in no way personal, nor meant to be taken personally. The main flaws lie with the system - a system that in my opinion perpetuates and encourages division on this campus.

Whatever my opinion (which is NOT the main point of this post), I was struck dumb by my friend Paul's comment in the first class discussion. He said, "Guys, there's no love in this conversation." And I am ashamed to admit it was true.

We at ACU have become so obsessed with being right, with convincing ourselves that others need to agree with us, that we have left the love out of the conversation. The person who posted a vitriolic anonymous comment on Jeremiah's blog regarding this issue had no love in his or her tone. And we've become so focused on this discussion and others like it that we are forgetting (in Terry Brown's words of last week) to "keep the main thing the main thing."

I'm as guilty as anyone who's reading this - more so than some, because I speak out passionately against things that I regard as wrong. Sometimes my passion for truth gets in the way of a loving attitude. God forgive me - for I have failed to be one of the peacemakers, who "shall be called children of God."

I also have a lot to learn about loving in the positive sense...as in, I do wrong things that have no love in them (not loving by commission), but I also don't do enough right things out of a heart filled with love (not loving by omission). Last night after Jeremiah received that hate-filled comment on his blog (which hurt as any personal attack does), I couldn't say much to him until we had both cooled off. I was as mad as he was about the whole thing. But then, as I sat and listened to God's quiet voice telling me that our campus needs some love in this conversation, I was able to pray that God would forgive me and others at ACU who have omitted love from our discussions and debates. And then I was able to pray for Jeremiah...that God would grant him wisdom, patience, courage and love as he continues learning to be God's man in a world that often gets so messed up.

That was the highlight of my day yesterday,,,as well it should have been. A chance to come before the Father on behalf of one of His precious sons...to fight in the right way for one for whom I care deeply. God forgive me for not doing this more often. God help me to become a woman who does not argue with others for the sake of being right, but who fights for others for the sake of love.